I have been so busy lately that I have failed in posting any blogs. I guess I just was looking for something to do this afternoon since I feel like blah. Life has been rough. Scott's grandmother passed away a couple of weeks ago and then Tori got really sick. She ended up in bed for over a week and had to have medicine. When that little girl gets sick she really gets sick. I just wish that she didn't get so sick. It is really scary.
I have been trying to decide why I am feeling so blah as of lately and I think it is because I feel like my life is going nowhere. I feel like I am doing the same thing every day and that there is no change. Even the constant doctor appointments are starting to feel like normal. I feel like I see the same doctors so much that I am becoming close friends with them. I know that this is stretching it, but I see them so often.
Scott's band had a show this last Friday night. It went really well. They will be headlining next month. I am happy for them. I hope that this leads to something for them. All they really want is to be rock stars. They are living their dream and I can't stop that and would not want to. They love this life and I even think it can be exciting.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Friday, September 26, 2008
The Week is Almost Done!
Well, all I can say is that at least this week is almost over. I will have to work for several hours tomorrow meaning I am only getting Sunday off, but that is okay. I could really use the hours on my check. We seem to be in this holding pattern where nothing is happening but everyday life. I almost feel like I can breath again, but to be honest I am afraid of letting myself feel the comfort of no major problems. I guess I am coming to realize that my life is full of stress and issues. My boss always tries to tell me that they are not issues, but opportunities. I don't know about that yet.
Scott's band has their first show in a long time tomorrow night. I am happy for the guys and am hoping that it goes well, but am very thankful that I am able to sit this one out with the kids. They don't need to be at a house party staying out late and I didn't try to find a sitter for the night. I am looking forward to a quite evening at home with my children trying to catch up on all my laundry.
We had to go and meet with a counselor yesterday for Tori. The first meeting was just for Scott and I and in two weeks she will get to go in for her first session followed by a session for Scott and I. I was really nervous and a little on the defensive side. I wasn't sure how this was going to go over. I think we surprised the counselor when we fully admitted that Tori needed some help because of all her stress and anxiety. My poor little girl. I am hoping that this works for her because I want to see the sparkle back in her eyes. She use to always smile and laugh and her eyes always lit up. Now, she does smile and laugh, but not as much. And her eyes, they always look so tired and sad. I hope that the counselor can help her. I am afraid of how depressed she is for a nine year old.
Scott and I had a chance to talk the other day, you know one of those rare minutes when we didn't have any children around. He is starting to feel the pain of of illnesses. The stomach and digestive problems have him really worried. I keep telling him that just because of bunch of doctors say that he might have 3 years left to live doesn't make them right. I keep saying that we are going to prove them wrong, but how much pain can his body handle before it just quits. I am scared of loosing him, but know that I have to have a strong front for the kids. I just know that I have so much family and friends who love me and I know that they are always there for me. I also know that this writing is helping me.
Okay, enough with my babbling.
Scott's band has their first show in a long time tomorrow night. I am happy for the guys and am hoping that it goes well, but am very thankful that I am able to sit this one out with the kids. They don't need to be at a house party staying out late and I didn't try to find a sitter for the night. I am looking forward to a quite evening at home with my children trying to catch up on all my laundry.
We had to go and meet with a counselor yesterday for Tori. The first meeting was just for Scott and I and in two weeks she will get to go in for her first session followed by a session for Scott and I. I was really nervous and a little on the defensive side. I wasn't sure how this was going to go over. I think we surprised the counselor when we fully admitted that Tori needed some help because of all her stress and anxiety. My poor little girl. I am hoping that this works for her because I want to see the sparkle back in her eyes. She use to always smile and laugh and her eyes always lit up. Now, she does smile and laugh, but not as much. And her eyes, they always look so tired and sad. I hope that the counselor can help her. I am afraid of how depressed she is for a nine year old.
Scott and I had a chance to talk the other day, you know one of those rare minutes when we didn't have any children around. He is starting to feel the pain of of illnesses. The stomach and digestive problems have him really worried. I keep telling him that just because of bunch of doctors say that he might have 3 years left to live doesn't make them right. I keep saying that we are going to prove them wrong, but how much pain can his body handle before it just quits. I am scared of loosing him, but know that I have to have a strong front for the kids. I just know that I have so much family and friends who love me and I know that they are always there for me. I also know that this writing is helping me.
Okay, enough with my babbling.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
In The Beginning!
I have decided after reading a friends blogs that this might be a good thing for me. Just some place to go and write what I am feeling, what I am doing, and maybe get a few things off my chest. Life has been crazy and just seems to keep getting crazier by the minute. Let me back ups just a little bit. My older two kids, Tori and Logan, are insulin dependent Diabetics. Zakk has seasonal allergies, and my husband just has a lot of medical problems and the doctors keep saying that best case he has 3 years left. I first off don't want to believe the doctors and so I am fighting that statement every day. Tori has been really sick and her diabetes has gotten out of control. My little girl takes a lot on in the world and she does not handle stress well. When she is stressed her blood sugars start running really high and that is what has been happening. She has been hospitalized twice in the last 4 weeks and is finally doing a little better. I just don't know how much more I can handle of this. I am worried about the health of my family and am working hard everyday to keep everyone moving in the right directions, but some days it feels like instead of taking a big step forward I am falling backwards. I wish that I could jump to where the grass is greener and maybe feel a little less stress, but I just don't see that happening any time soon to be honest. I am working every chance I can get because of how much work I have been missing between doctor appointments for Tori and Scott. I have to attend all of Tori's appointments and almost all of Scotts. I hope that there will be a break soon. Thank goodness for friends and family.
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